The Whole World At Our Feet (2015)

Kazakhstan isn't a country with a big cinematic legacy, but in recent years it's been trying to shift that. And in 2015, they gave us The Whole World at Our Feet. Some sources say it's one of the highest grossing Kazakh movies of all time (citation needed). The film features an all-star cast of the crime/action world, with Armand Assante, Michael Madsen, Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Bolo Yeung, and even Peter O'Toole! How bad could that possibly be?...

In the ex-Soviet state of Kazakhstan, gangsters rule, and warlord Musa has paid handsomely for a special gemstone. In a double cross, it's stolen along with his money, and he sends his dogs of war to get them back. Meanwhile, a young man is searching for his missing girlfriend, and finds her embroiled right in the centre of this mess, and strives to get her out. But can they escape the country, with the money? Or will they be hunted down first?...

The Whole World at Our Feet (aka Diamond Cartel) is a movie I was very curious to see. Not because I had any illusions it would be good, but because I was interested what it was even like, with its ethnic origin and 'star-studded' cast. Now that I've finally seen it, I can report that Whole World at Our Feet is not a good movie like I was hoping, but it is everything I was expecting, which means it at least didn't disappoint me.

The film is a crime/action picture, with the neo-Tarantino feel that you'd see a lot in his wake. Trenchcoats, guns, 'clever' narration, 'witty' dialogue, etc. An overriding desire to be cool, and inevitably failing. If I were to compare this to two films that did it right, there's Eşkıya from Turkey, and Kazakhstan's own Needle. Both of those are post-modern crime flicks with rough tough heroes, gunfire, and ambiguous plots.

The story is very simple in some ways, yet also labyrinthine in others, and there were times where I was a little lost. We're thrust into this world with little warning, and while you can understand plenty through context or narration, some of it is a bit head-scratching.

Events are a little out of order sometimes, with heavy use of flashbacks. This isn't handled terribly, except some important scenes are only seen in brief flashbacks, leading to confusion. Then there's the obnoxious narration, which drones on and on! I wanted this girl to shut up so much! It'd be interesting seeing the film play out without her incessant nattering.

This all leads to a twisty climax, where allegiances change, and everyone battles in a free-for-all. Admittedly some of these are pretty good! Not sure how much sense they make, but still. Then we get double twists, and ridiculous contrivances, which are just mind-numbing! This all culminates in what seems like a happy ending, although admittedly I got two characters mixed up and thought Arman had survived and was secretly good all along.

The film's portrayal of Kazakhstan is comically exaggerated, which is impressive considering this is a Kazakh film. It's potentially insulting, but I imagine locals wouldn't really take it that seriously, and so I'll be lenient, but it still kinda rubs me up the wrong way just how much the narration plays up like Kazakhstan is a lawless wasteland where dreams go to die, and massacres are just another day at the zoo. I mean, God, the worst they have to deal with is government corruption, it's hardly Hell on earth!. It does a worse job at representing Kazakhstan than Borat, and that was meant to be a joke!

The lead character is named Aliya, not that you'd know it with how rarely her name comes up. It's she who narrates the film, though her narration doesn't fit the character we see. Some of the lines are also annoyingly snarky and detached, or vague. "Maybe I do have a heart of stone, and that's why my life is like this." Like what?

She's not the worst, but I didn't find her that likeable, and frankly didn't think she was worth the trouble for Ruslan. She vanishes on him and rides another guy's dick for two years without so much as a by-your-leave. We get a La Femme Nikita style flashback as she tells Ruslan her story, and amusingly his only takeaway is that she slept with Arman.

Ruslan meanwhile is a nice enough dope, who's sweet, though really annoying to have asked Aliya's workplace for her every night a year after she's vanished! He's also not naive either. These qualities, plus their childhood connection, are enough to warm her heart. Together they seek to escape their country, leaving behind a clear trail of evidence.

The main villain is ostensibly Musa, who spurs on the film's events by really wanting a diamond, for $30 million reasons (though we never learn why it's so important to him). He's a crazy asshole, an ex-general turned crime lord, and seeks to control everyone else in the film. He's a suitably cheesy villain, spending most of the movie in his office. While not the most active, he does have some amusing and occasionally weird villain habits, like having a gaggle of blindfolded musicians to serenade his cells, as well as the tendency to point at things when he's on the phone.

The more active villain is Arman A 'friend' since childhood who's been Aliya's sort-of-boyfriend the last year, and wants her back. He works for Musa, but isn't happy about it, and we quickly see he's got other allegiances, and other plans in mind.

The other characters are a crazy bunch. There's a rival crime lord who is a deranged drug addict one minute, then calm the next. There's a variety of assorted henchmen. Then there's one character amazingly named Catastrophe! Not that you'd notice though, when the only one who says his name is the very French villain, and it comes out more like Cuttazov. He's a pretty interesting character. Seemingly Musa's put-upon lackey, he seems to be planning his own scheme (which would have been more of a surprise had the narration not flat-out told us so). Equally enigmatic is Aliya's handler, who trains her in the art of being an assassin. Though I wish he looked less like Arman, because I kept getting them mixed up!

Now to discuss the cast, one of the more interesting aspects of this film, and no doubt a big reason why many have even heard of it. If you believe the marketing this stars all manner of 'washed up' Hollywood talent, though really they're little more than extended cameos and minor roles.

The true stars are Kazakh locals, who I'm at least glad not to see overshadowed. Karlygash Mukhamedzhanova (there goes my keyboard!) and Alexey Frandetti are pretty good leads visually, and I thought Frandetti handled emotion quite well, even if he couldn't stop smiling at times. Their dub acting is really something though. It sounds distractingly American, and the performances, particularly the woman's, get so overblown. The dubbing overall sounds really weird, like its recorded in an echo chamber.

Armand Assante is pretty much the only western actor to get more than a cameo, and honestly he should probably be considered the lead with how much screentime he gets. This turns out to be a mixed blessing, because he delivers an absolutely awful performance! He delvers his lines in a strange French(?) accent that renders much of his dialogue unintelligible. Even his visual mannerisms are just bizarre, like he's high on something.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa chews the scenery in a medium role. Michael Madsen and Tommy Lister show up for precisely one scene, and just when you think they might play a decent role, they're killed in that same scene. Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, kickboxer extraordinaire, plays a mob boss for only 2 or so short scenes, and is badly dubbed. Bolo Yeung barely appears, and only gets a single fight at the end.

Cinematic titan Peter O'Toole also appears in what would be one of his last roles, released posthumously. It's a bizarre performance, where he doesn't even get to use his own voice! Instead he's dubbed over with what sounds like Darth Vader. What I'd like to know is how this happened! How drunk did Peter O'Toole get to fly to Kazakhstan to shoot a 3 minute part, and not even use his voice? Although let's be honest, this probably isn't the worst film Peter O'Toole has ever appeared in, or the worst performance he's ever given.

The direction here by Salamat Mukhammad-Ali is surprisingly good! Shot composition and cinematography go hand in hand to produce some really neat images, big and small. The editing is sometimes odd. There are strange cuts, often within the same frame. There are some cool effects and transitions. The film is also liberal with title cards, which I appreciate, although it's often redundant. I get it movie, we're in Almaty. That's what the last title card said and we never left!

The action in Whole World is overblown, loud, nonsensical, and oddly still in places, it's trying so hard to be cool, and failing for the most part. The best action sequence has gotta be the car chase. It's so ridiculous, with miniguns and grenade launchers involved yet everyone still misses.There's an effective car flip, and a genuinely awesome moment when Arman exits the toppled car.

The soundtrack here is mixed. There's a lot of generic pieces, with some pretty bad licensed songs. Maybe they'll appeal to some, but they're the kind of aggressively loud screamo metal that makes me reach for the earplugs. There's also some ethnic wailing music mixed with techno, which are...interesting in their own way.

The Whole World At Our Feet is a bad movie. I think it could've been good if only it'd tried to be more of its own thing, and wasn't so obsessed with being flashy and cool. It's a fun curio for fans of trashy action cinema, but if you're expecting something good you'll be disappointed...