Ted Angelo is a lazy drunk of a writer, whittling away his contract out in lush South America, much to the frustration of his coldhearted ex-wife and manager. One day he is given an old relic, and when it causes the death of two people, he goes on the run with a deceased antique dealer's assistant, and together they uncover a vast conspiracy-One that both the CIA, KGB, and more unknown parties will kill for...
Top Line is a low-budget action flick from Italy, and one that bites off a little more than it can chew, but tries at least to deliver a fun experience, even if it doesn't always succeed. The movie starts off pretty meh. Not bad, but not very engaging. As the action kicks into gear it becomes more entertaining, but is still never a real gas like any given Bruno Matteo vehicle. There's just something missing.
Top Line is the official Italian title, though Alien Terminator is punchier and more fitting, even if it's technically only applicable to the final act.
The story is thin, and gets stalled too much on the leads trying to get out of South America. That feels like it'd be the first plot point in the story, but instead takes up the entire thing, and you get a bit tired after a while. Where the story falls down most is that it has too much for what it is, if that makes any sense. Let's compare it to Raiders of Atlantis, another Italosploitation movie of its type. That film had zero plot to speak of! Once the Atlanteans invade, the whole movie is just a free-for-all from Point A to Z. And that worked because the movie was designed with that in mind. But Top Line feels like it pays too much focus on a story that's really not strong or interesting enough to warrant it, and so you get the impression that less would've been more.
One thing I'll credit to the movie is how it effectively builds up paranoia. The moment at the hour mark when the heroes have been accused of murder and gone on the run, then hear a random story on the radio of a UFO crackpot, really gives off a tense vibe, like a lot of others might have discovered these events, but are effectively silenced.
Where the movie really disappoints is its absolute non-ending! I swear
to god, movies about big conspiracies do this all the time! They know
the resolution is too big to show so they don't even try! They just shoot the nearest
villain, and have the hero go "We're gonna have a heck of a time
destroying this conspiracy! But we'll get it licked, just wait and see",
and then the movie will just stop! Top Line is no exception, and it
just feels like a lazy cop-out. Dudes, I know you didn't have the budget
for anything grand but you could have at least tried! I mean, to swing
back to Raiders of Atlantis, that movie showed the full-on assault on
society, its rescue, and Atlantis itself, even if it did just end up being a couple of plastic bubbles on a regular island. It lived up to its premise and saw it through to the end.
The hero is a bit of a loser, but not a total jerk. So even though his actions get just about all his friends plus tons of other innocent people killed, he's never too annoying. June is a proactive sidekick, and adds a nice angle to the pair.
Top Line has a whole host of villains, and the movie wisely spaces them out well. For example, George Kennedy's nazi collector seems like a big deal, but he's killed only halfway through. This is good because it gives him his own definite section of the story without overtaking any of the other antagonists, and they can step into the limelight afterwards without having to fight for screentime. The downside of this is some of the villains could've done more, but that's a pretty small issue here.
In what was probably a belated imitation of The Terminator, we get a robot in the last half hour, and he's a hoot. After encounters with human gangsters and mercenaries, we suddenly see this new antagonist hurl people 30 feet and shrug off bats to the head, before a well-aimed firework collection exposes him for what he is.
The most special surprise here is Mary Stavin playing a bad guy! I won't reveal the specifics (even though they are pretty obvious), but it should at least be obvious that this bitchy character isn't on the up-and-up. Seeing this often scary sidekick playing the main baddie is great, however brief it is. Then we get to see her naked!...And then we something really shocking.
Onto the acting. Franco Nero disappoints as the hero, not giving it his best. It seems like he's doing his own dubbing too, and either his command of the English language wasn't the best at this point, or the direction let him down. Or both. Deborah Moore is much better, playing a neat sidekick, and the right balance of innocent, sexy, and resourceful. George Kennedy has fun delivering a cheesy performance as the madly accented collector, and is missed once his character is out of the picture. And lastly, there's dear Mary Stavin. That loveably scary actress, often described as someone who looks like she'd bite your dick off, is on usual form here, giving a deliciously icy performance, with plenty to do in the climax.
The effects here are pretty basic, with the odd red paint splotches and exploding cars. Then there's an impressive melted robot face, complete with still-moving eye! Also it's probably just a trick of the light but it looks in some scenes like you can see right through his head. The alien at the end is suitably gooey too, getting a really neat transformation. It's so good I wish the movie had've done more with it.
The majority of the budget was clearly spent on the location, which the actors just amble about in for the runtime. It's a nice location, and shot well, even if the poor quality of the print I saw left it not looking as glamorous as it should've been. What bugs me is that it probably shouldn't have been the central location for the whole movie. Another thing I did like was the big emphasis on the black and indigenous residents.
Overall, Top Line isn't the best of the Italian action cycle. That much is apparent even 5 minutes in. But it's not terrible, nor a complete waste of time. And hey, any movie with these actors is always worth a shot!...
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